Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
