we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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