check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it wasn't lemon gatorade
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
