I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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