JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh god it's open bar.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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