Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
