Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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