You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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