Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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