I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
