I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
