I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
