I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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