Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
