I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
