isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i think i just lost a toe
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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