wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
