Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
