one might say we're banned from that church
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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