i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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