In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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