Plan B is the new Plan A
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
