Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
