Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
