so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize