so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
