woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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