I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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