i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
