how hairy? two words: wookie tits
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
