i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
