she was so not down for the gang bang
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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