I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
