Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
