If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
