Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize