After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
