Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
