grandma shit on top of the toilet
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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