Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
