Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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