She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
