ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
