She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
