dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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