I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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