I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize