How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
