Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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