There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're so nebulous sometimes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
