But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
