Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
