Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
