you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
