U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
