sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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