Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize