fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
