It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
