Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
