they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
