No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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