Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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