i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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