So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
