I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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