I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
