I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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