Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think your dad took our porno
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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