susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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