Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
